I’ve had a great year. I’ve got back into work, launched a monthly market but best of all, I’ve sort of put the cancer behind me. It’s becoming a memory. At my last CT scan in April, I was given the all clear and told I wouldn’t be scanned for another year, so when I had a routine appointment with my oncologist last month, I strolled in. No scan means no scanxiety. I just had to have a blood test.
Silly me for being so complacent. The blood test has shown my kidneys aren’t working properly. I have a function of around 48%, which doesn’t sound great. It’s not unusual for the op (bladder removal and neobladder reconstruction) to put a strain on the kidneys but I need further tests. I’ve been told 48% could be my ‘new normal’, which freaks me out: talk about firing on half a cylinder.
Suddenly I’m plunged back to it all - the worry and fear, the hospital appointments, the feverish Googling and thinking, ‘actually, I have ALL those symptoms’. I’m angry and full of self-pity. After the cancer diagnosis and the hideous op and the incontinence and the chemo and the corrective surgery everything’s been fine. And now this.
It could just be a blip. It might mot require treatment or I could need a stent to clear a blockage. Of course I've fast-forwarded to dialysis and a kidney transplant. A major op like mine requires long-term monitoring so I shouldn’t be surprised that something has come up but God I’m annoyed.